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Letter to Me

January 1, 2010

Dear Towanda,

2009 was pretty good to you. Yes, there were extreme highs and extreme lows, but you held your own. Princess #3 was definitely the highlight. She completed your Princess Trio. And the fact that she is a happy baby shows that God answers prayers.

You were worried about scarring her, because watching Granddaddy lose his battle with cancer was HARD. It all happened so quickly. In March he’s up and about, celebrating his sister’s birthday. In April he’s diagnosed and in June he’s gone. You weren’t sure how to mourn, being very pregnant and all, but you made it through the funeral without going into labor. Yes, God is good.

This also shows the circle of life because he was always happy, always smiling when he saw you and your family. You’ve been blessed that way, you know, with fun Grandparents. Not sure how many people can say they enjoyed watching Cops and Fear Factor with their Grandma and Granddaddy. So while you miss him and his smile, you can find some peace in your princess’ smile.

There were other highlights, too. Quality time with family and old friends (i.e. Gatlinburg!), holidays, making new friends and doing what you love, to name a few.

And it was especially rewarding to complete your New Year’s Resolution. Doing 12 random acts of kindness was wonderful and you should do that again this year. It’s a great feeling to be a giver.

So, for 2010, remember your goals and keep going forward. Ignore the people that don’t understand your journey. They may never understand and that’s okay. It’s between you and God.

Continue to share the parts of your story that you feel can help others, because that’s what God wants you to do.

Make sure your family and friends know how much you love them and appreciate their support. This is a gift that many don’t have.

Keep working hard and don’t beat yourself up so much when you fall a little short. Things happen, just remember to keep moving forward. You have a good heart and pure motives; that will take you far.

It’s okay to be sad, to mourn, to get upset. There is no time limit on missing those that you hold dear. All of these feelings are human. Just don’t get too caught up in the dip, you know that part where you just want to crawl under a rock and cry yourself to sleep. Cry, but remember to appreciate your life and to live it passionately.

Laugh A LOT. Remember not to take yourself or others too seriously.

And make the extra effort to make life a series of happy experiences for your girls, your hubby and other paths you cross. Playing dress-up, vacations, parties (birthday or National Cupcake Day) and storytime, that’s what you want them to remember. That you were loving, giving and happy. Not that you were a neat freak, always nagging and no fun to be around.

2010 will be a good year, partly because of circumstances but mostly because you control your actions and you will make it so.

Sincerely, Me

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